Wednesday, November 10, 2010

MOH/Bride-to-Be: Lessons from the Other Side

Now that BM Cuz is off on her honeymoon adventure, it's time to take off my MOH hat and put it away.  It's also time to sit down and try to process all the things that I learned from her wedding day (before I forget).  

Here are some lessons I'm taking with me:

1.  Never underestimate the love-fest.  I had no idea how emotional the day would be, for me.  It's really difficult to sum up the amount of pride and joy I felt that day for the BM Cuz and her husband.  I was happy to be there for her, and beyond honored to have a part in their day.  

2.  MOH: You better work! Being MOH is a lot of work.  And there were two of us at BM Cuz's wedding!  I was under the impression that being the Maid of Honor meant throwing parties beforehand, going to dress fittings, standing in when the fiancé is unavailable.  But it was so much more on game wedding day.  And you know what?  I enjoyed every bit of it.  I was happy to be there helping her get dressed, I was happy to keep her dress off the damp ground (and man, that enormous ruffled skirt would NOT cooperate), and I surprised myself at the number of things I managed to remember. How many times in a woman's life can she say she had the honor of holding her bestie's wedding dress up to help her pee?  That's work AND commitment wrapped into one.

There I am, tackling her train! Beautiful Cuz!
(Personal snapshot)

3.  Write it down! And make it known!  There were a lot of things I forgot in the last minute rush.  So the lesson is, make a list!  Then check it.  Check it again.  Then tell someone about the list, so they can help you keep track of things. I dropped the ball on three very simple things:  

  • Her wrap - no one had considered getting a wrap for the bride before the wedding, not even the bride herself.  Good thing she was too happy to mind the November chill.
  • Comfy shoes for the reception - I meant to buy something for her, and I forgot in the last minute rush. So did my co-MOH, but had we discussed it maybe one of us would have remembered!
  • Her overnight bag -  This is something we failed to discuss before that night. She didn't have any comfy clothes to change into for the next day.  I meant to add an extra set of PJs and sneakers to her "bridal rescue" bag and give it to her before I went up to bed after the wedding, but it was late (like 2 am) and I might have been a little tipsy.

Thankfully, I remembered the bag in the morning and I hung it on the doorknob of their suite. She didn't miss it by the way, they stayed up and partied long after I went to bed.  So all was not lost!  Every one of those things I forgot could have been remembered if I would have mentioned them to someone else, by the way.  

4. Be prepared! You can never be too prepared.  I put a bag together with all the things I thought she might need: sewing kit, safety pins, Shout wipes, mints, deodorant, brush, etc.  And though we didn't need everything in the bag, what we used was crucial!  We kept her hair looking nice, made sure her makeup stayed put, and helped "fix" her bustle when it broke (do they always break?), even though it broke again after that.

Looking very dutiful, but I'm just holding back the tears.
(Personal snapshot)

5.  Toss your phone (for the day).  A bride must get rid of her phone.  I grabbed a bunch of numbers from Cuz's phone before it died.  And I was prepared to handle any possible phone drama--thankfully, there wasn't any.  But there were way too many calls coming in before her phone's battery gave out.  For my wedding day, I'm going to assign a go-to bridesmaid, and hand her number out to my vendors.  Then I'll make a list of all my vendors for my go-to BM and give my phone a rest.  

I think that's about it, for me.  I'm taking these lessons and storing them away for my wedding. 

Have you even been a bridesmaid or Maid/Matron of honor?  Did you learn any lessons you used for your wedding?

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