Wednesday, September 22, 2010

One Woman Pity Party

Comic by Julia Wertz

If you ask a group of married women if their husbands helped with their wedding plans, chances are you will get a good number of "no" and "not really" responses. Nearly every married woman I spoke to reassured me that their husbands didn't really help in the planning process.  So we're not all that different. Weddings are typically the bride's domain, right?

But I can't help but feel alone in this sometimes.  

I won't let this become a pity party, because it isn't.  This is a happy time, and honestly even if the Mr. Marmalade was around, he'd still be living a couple hundred miles away.  I would still be alone. But, what?

Part of it has nothing to do with him.  BM Cuz is getting married in mere weeks! And I am oh so excited for her.  But I've kept mum about a lot of my details and ideas because I want her to have her time as the bride of the family.  Yet as her wedding approaches, mine does too. It's time to get things done!  Things, like say, dress shopping.  Even though, I'd rather not go through that ordeal again.

I met with a potential florist and my mom came along.  She didn't know she would be able to join me until the night before. It was nice to have someone sitting next to me, and not have to explain why I was alone.  And as much as people say their spouses had little to no involvement, I know that if Mr. M could be sitting there next to me, listening to things he doesn't really care about, he would--he would sit, cracking a joke here and there about how he has no idea what we're talking about.  I'll have to fill him in the next time I talk to him, though I'm not sure when that will be.

And I mentioned before, we had to choose a new venue. We made the decision over Google Talk.  To this day, he and I haven't set foot at our reception venue at the same time (he actually attended a wedding there last Spring). And our ceremony location is a place we discussed long ago, in one of those "if we get married here..." conversations.  Hopefully, he remembers that one. 

There are many women who would love to make every decision about their wedding plans all alone.  I'm doing it.  And I wish I didn't have to.  I'm grateful we get to chat on occasion, I'm grateful for the internet--because without it, we wouldn't get to talk as often as we do, and he wouldn't be able to see our wedding plans progress via my blog posts.  

Anyway, just had to get that off my chest.  The pity party is officially over.  Back to happy times.  

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