Monday, August 30, 2010

Taking it From The Top

I had a moment a few weeks ago, and then I calmed down a bit.  It's not that I'm tight fisted when it comes to money, and it's not that I'm horribly neurotic, I swear.  But try as I could, I just could not shake the feeling that we needed to change something with our wedding, stat.  Somewhat serendipitously, I took my mom and Thia to our venue to check it out.  The vineyard was even lovelier than I could have imagined, so what happened?  

Well, I went home and I cried about it for a minute.  I decided I wanted to stop all plans and really give myself some time to get to the root of the problem.  Then I looked at our budget, estimated and actual, and I cried again.  Was it just the money that bothered me?  No, for the record the money didn't bother me, it terrified me.  Was it the distance?  Absolutely not.  Was it the fact that I didn't feel that anyone outside us actually supported the idea of us getting married so far from home?  Sort of, once Bear left, I was on my own to defend our choice.  But more than anything, more than money, more than support, I needed simplicity.  I craved it.  

So I set out to find what I needed--not what I wanted.  I let go of perfection.  And I began looking for a place that was beautiful, closer to home, and significantly cheaper than our original plan, in order to simplify everything.  

What did I find?

You'll have to wait to find out.  

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