Monday, January 24, 2011

Just Call Me Ms. Clause

Planning a wedding around a deployment is a very tricky and potentially a very costly endeavor.  For most of our engagement, our wedding plans have been up in the air.  We set our wedding date a year ago.  Since then, his plans have changed more than a couple times.    

So what's a slightly Type A bride to do outside of purchasing pricey wedding insurance?  Is it even possible plan a wedding without losing your mind and a few deposits? 

It is!  Here are some tips I've picked up along the way.  

1.  Be honest about your situation, and ask for exactly what you want.  

In our case that meant "he's serving abroad, but he should be back in time for our wedding."  And when I heard crickets, which I often did, I would continue with "I know it's sounds a little scary to plan an entire wedding with that much uncertainty, but we really feel like our date is going to work."  

And then the question  "if we decided to work with you, would you be able to allow us to use our deposit on another date?"

2.  Be flexible (and respectful).  

I appreciate each and every vendor that was receptive and sympathetic to our situation.  But that doesn't mean I expected them to put everything on hold for us.  All I really wanted was to be able to use our deposit for another day, if we had no other choice.  And if we had to find another day, it would have to work for everyone involved, which wouldn't be easy since we are working with some amazingly talented (read: in demand) people.  

At first I was a little embarrassed to even ask, but after a couple conversations I came to realize that I didn't want to work with anyone that made me feel bad for asking.  I can acknowledge and respect that everyone has a business to run.  I can understand that it might sound cuckoo to look for another date in the middle of peak wedding season.  But the vendors that seemed offended or taken aback by my request weren't going to be the right fit for us, no hard feelings.   

3.  Get it in writing!

All it took were a few extra words in the contract to put me at ease.  Signed, sealed, and delivered--we're prepared for a change of plans!

4. Take a deep breath. 

Do whatever you have to do to relax and get your mind off the uncertainty.  You've done all you could to anticipate a change. Just because our vendors have agreed to be flexible doesn't mean that I'm going to eagerly change our date if his plans change.  I've had my fingers crossed for months!  And now that we're almost in the homestretch it looks like we're locked in on our original date!

If there's one thing I've learned about his schedule, it's to expect change and accept that it's completely out of my control.  We're getting married!  And we're going to BE married no matter how many bumps we hit in the road.  

Are you planning around any uncertainty?  Do you have any other tips to share?


  1. i love your name and even better what it means...thanks for vising my blog. Come again!
    Im following you now:-) happy monday.

  2. For the hangers, the wedding date is definitely a contender and I also thought about using initials with a heart between them or even just "love" w/ a heart.

    I think it's great that you were able to find great and flexible vendors. You are making the best of your unique situation.

  3. I give you such credit for planning a wedding with relative uncertainties.. I think it's hard enough when you don't have a fiancé being deployed, much less one with a schedule that could change. I sincerely hope that all goes "right" and you can keep your date :)

  4. @ Miss Pancakes, thanks for following! Happy Monday to you!

    @Tiffany - Oh I like the idea of "Love" with a heart as the O.

    @Steph C - Thanks lady! That means a lot.

  5. These are great tips..I hope everything works out for you!