Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Pre-Nuptual Nightmares

I'm going to lose my mind, actually, I fear that I already have.  After a long week of over-thinking the wedding plans, I finally may have cracked.  The other night, I made an appointment at the bridal salon to try my dress on again.  And I sent Cuz a text message to see if she could join.  Her response was "I'm going to be in the city, so I guess I could stay for you."  And then I fell asleep and this happened:  

After a long day at work, I find myself in an apartment on a college campus wearing a yellow dress.  The dress looks like something out of Mad Men, as does the rest of my ensemble: patent orange mary jane peeptoe pumps, large costume earrings, and a updo that only a can of Aqua Net could love.  (Side note: The dress could be nice if it wasn't yellow, since I avoid that color like the plague this time of year; it looks horrible against the olive undertones in my skin and makes me look ill.)  I didn't know anyone at this apartment, but there I sat, drinking booze out of a red plastic cup, just like the good old days.  Except I'm not in college anymore, haven't been for a long time and I remember thinking that I must have looked like a knockoff Jerri Blank.  Still with me?

Then I arrive at a huge party in a courtyard, and my shoes feel tight.  I can't get over how tight they are--the straps are digging into my feet, making them look like overstuffed sausages.  And after some milling about the party, wondering what to do with craziest shoes ever, I decide to bend over and take them off.  The only thing, is that when I bend down to undo the buckle I get a rush to my head and I realize that the shoes are now a lovely lime-chartreuse green color and more importantly, I realize that I am completely wasted. 

So I stand up and try to steady myself on the wall, and I begin to look for a familiar face to help me get home.  Desperately, I try to strike up a conversation with some people from the pre-game apartment and they turn away from me, disgusted that some strange woman is trying to speak with them.  You could hear them whisper "who the hell is that?  I dunno dude, I don't know her." Humiliated, I decide to walk (barefoot, lime green trainwrecks in hand) away from the party, hoping to find my way to someone that could help me out.  As I stumble across the unidentified campus, I see a group of well-groomed guys in the distance.  And then I spot the Bear standing in the middle of this group, wearing his favorite jean jacket, the jacket that I despise.  We make eye contact just as I remembered that he was supposed to meet up with me at the party.  But he walks away with his friends.  

Finally, I take myself over to a concrete bench and fall into it in a pitiful heap.  There I was, stranded and alone, no idea where I was or how to get back to somewhere familiar, when finally someone comes to my rescue.  Dee, my old friend from Sunday school appears out of nowhere and sits beside me.  She's somewhat annoyed, but helps me get my shoes back on and gives me her arm to help me up.  And, that's it. That's all I remember.  

Lesson learned?  Oh I think there were many.  The main lesson learned was to never wear patent leather mary jane pumps.  Ok, I'm kidding a little.  Now, I'm no expert but I think there are a couple things I got from this dream--

1. Clearly, I'm feeling alone and let down.  The solution to this is to speak up and ask for what I want from my loved ones in no uncertain terms--I need support! 

2. I'm struggling with the Bear being gone.  I mean, he walked away from me when I needed him terribly (in the dream).  So, I need to get him more involved in the plans.  And I really hate that jacket, rrg.

3. The outfit was silly, and it wasn't me.  And maybe, I need to hammer down the details of my wedding ensemble, because it's obviously bothering me.  

Anyone else having crazy pre-wedding nightmares? How do you deal?

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