Thursday, April 28, 2011

A Love Letter to My Home Printer

Dear Printer, 

You were groomed purchased for just one purpose in this world:  to help me print the paper goods for my wedding.  You were left in the box for a few months and then carefully set up.  I tested you on occasion, to make sure you were still in good working order, and you always were.  And almost a year later, it is now the time for you to live up to your destiny.  In short, I treated you well so


You insist on eating my envelopes and jamming them deep into your mechanical innards, where I have to use pliers to remove them.  You skew my labels and refuse to print my addresses in the center but for one in every three envelopes (what is that, tre-cimation?).  And you only print the rare "good envelope" after you've been given an hour or more of rest?  Labor laws do not apply to home printers, dude.  I hate to break it to you. 

So in short, I'm onto you.  You have made my blood pressure rise and delayed every single paper project I have tried to work on.  But my invitations are the last straw.  

Have you ever seen "Office Space?"

Of course you didn't because you were only assembled in 2010 and you don't have eyes. 

BUT watch out, Printer--your number is about to come up.




  1. Give that printer HELL!! Why does technology not automatically understand what our needs and wants are yet? lol.

  2. Hah. So sorry about the printer!! Ours is pretty dumb too. I'll be using Cat Print instead, I think. The intention was to print ourselves but it's just NOT gonna happen. Technology sucks sometimes.

  3. LOLOLOL awww printers are soooo annoying, I'm sorry you're having trouble. Hope you can work it out!

  4. LOL, brilliant post. Mine did this to me when I came to print my invites, but Mr Wright sorted it for me. Why do printers seem to know when you want them to do a good job and they don't.