J. Cray Cray

I started having doubts about my choice of bridesmaids dresses right after I decided that they should all choose their own.  A couple of my bridesmaids told me that they felt that choosing their own dress in a specific color would be too hard.  And most of them told me that they were going to purchase their dresses at J.Crew, since that's where I saw the colors in the first place. 

Four of the bridesmaids will be in "Spiced Wine."

(Spiced Wine)

And the other three bridesmaids (my sisters and Cuz) will be in their choice of "Pale Lilac" or "Warm Pebble."

(Pale Lilac)

(Warm Pebble)

So after giving it some thought, I wrote them all a final email about their dresses.  Yes, they could still choose whatever dress they wanted as long as it was in the color I asked them to wear.  But, I asked that they please purchase the dress from J.Crew. Feeling strangely triumphant, I patted myself on the back.  This was a happy medium, a win-win situation!  They get to wear whatever they want, paying whatever they could afford, they'll all look different, and we're all happy!

(everyone's happy!)

The happiness continued the next day when I learned that all three of my "pink ladies" bought their dresses together!  

(still happy!)

My excitement stretched into last night, when I asked my older sister to tell me which dress she chose, so I could get a better idea of how everything would look.  But my excitement became confusion when she hesitated to answer.  So I pressed on, and asked her again "which dress did you pick?"  And her response was "the dress you told us to get."  Red flags started going up, half raised, but up nonetheless.  Confused, I asked "what is the name of the dress you bought?"  She said she didn't know, but it was strapless and "the one I [Mich] want."  After some more prodding, I came to find out that she bought this dress:

(Erica Dress)

Oh nice! And Lil $is?  What about her?

(Erica Dress)

Mmmk...and Cuz?  I know she wanted chiffon dress but which one did she buy?

(Erica Dress)

Oh.  So much for everyone wearing a different dress.

I guess the disappointment was obvious, because my sister followed up with "they were $60! And I already bought them, and they can't be returned."

This is still a little fresh, so forgive me if I start to sound like a brat but yeah, I'm a little upset about this.  I asked them to get different dresses and they didn't.  And as a bargain hunter  myself, I can appreciate that they scored these dresses for a MAJOR deal--but was that a good enough reason to not do what I asked?  If they purchased the dresses on their own and by coincidence, they all bought the same dress this wouldn't bother me at all.  I would laugh about it!  But the reason they bought the same dresses was because it was the cheapest one and that really bothers me.  There were dresses in that color for $80 and for $100 as well.  And I could have helped pay the difference, but I wasn't given the chance.   

Is this going to ruin the wedding?  Of course not. They will look beautiful and they will be comfortable, which is what I wanted. I just feel a little hurt right now.  

AAAND...crazy bride moment over.  I'm kissing it to the wind.  

How about you?  Did you have any surprising bridesmaid dress drama?

Pre-Nuptual Nightmares

I'm going to lose my mind, actually, I fear that I already have.  After a long week of over-thinking the wedding plans, I finally may have cracked.  The other night, I made an appointment at the bridal salon to try my dress on again.  And I sent Cuz a text message to see if she could join.  Her response was "I'm going to be in the city, so I guess I could stay for you."  And then I fell asleep and this happened:  

(Strangers With Candy, anyone?)

After a long day at work, I find myself in an apartment on a college campus wearing a yellow dress.  The dress looks like something out of Mad Men, as does the rest of my ensemble: patent orange mary jane peeptoe pumps, large costume earrings, and a updo that only a can of Aqua Net could love.  (Side note: The dress could be nice if it wasn't yellow, since I avoid that color like the plague this time of year; it looks horrible against the olive undertones in my skin and makes me look ill.)  I didn't know anyone at this apartment, but there I sat, drinking booze out of a red plastic cup, just like the good old days.  Except I'm not in college anymore, haven't been for a long time and I remember thinking that I must have looked like a knockoff Jerri Blank.  Still with me?

(At least the dress was cute)

Then I arrive at a huge party in a courtyard, and my shoes feel tight.  I can't get over how tight they are--the straps are digging into my feet, making them look like overstuffed sausages.  And after some milling about the party, wondering what to do with craziest shoes ever, I decide to bend over and take them off.  The only thing, is that when I bend down to undo the buckle I get a rush to my head and I realize that the shoes are now a lovely lime-chartreuse green color and more importantly, I realize that I am completely wasted. 

(sorry JCrew, but these are almost what I wore in my nightmare)

So I stand up and try to steady myself on the wall, and I begin to look for a familiar face to help me get home.  Desperately, I try to strike up a conversation with some people from the pre-game apartment and they turn away from me, disgusted that some strange woman is trying to speak with them.  You could hear them whisper "who the hell is that?  I dunno dude, I don't know her." Humiliated, I decide to walk (barefoot, lime green trainwrecks in hand) away from the party, hoping to find my way to someone that could help me out.  As I stumble across the unidentified campus, I see a group of well-groomed guys in the distance.  And then I spot the Bear standing in the middle of this group, wearing his favorite jean jacket, the jacket that I despise.  We make eye contact just as I remembered that he was supposed to meet up with me at the party.  But he walks away with his friends.  

(oh Brit, I felt the same way)

Finally, I take myself over to a concrete bench and fall into it in a pitiful heap.  There I was, stranded and alone, no idea where I was or how to get back to somewhere familiar, when finally someone comes to my rescue.  Dee, my old friend from Sunday school appears out of nowhere and sits beside me.  She's somewhat annoyed, but helps me get my shoes back on and gives me her arm to help me up.  And, that's it. That's all I remember.  

Lesson learned?  Oh I think there were many.  The main lesson learned was to never wear patent leather mary jane pumps.  Ok, I'm kidding a little.  Now, I'm no expert but I think there are a couple things I got from this dream--

1. Clearly, I'm feeling alone and let down.  The solution to this is to speak up and ask for what I want from my loved ones in no uncertain terms--I need support! 

2. I'm struggling with the Bear being gone.  I mean, he walked away from me when I needed him terribly (in the dream).  So, I need to get him more involved in the plans.  And I really hate that jacket, rrg.

3. The outfit was silly, and it wasn't me.  And maybe, I need to hammer down the details of my wedding ensemble, because it's obviously bothering me.  

Anyone else having crazy pre-wedding nightmares? How do you deal?

Been There, Done That, Got the Goody Bag

(Not from bridal show)

And by "goody bag" I mean a bag stuffed to the brim with fliers for vendors I will not call. Oh, and a bridal magazine that I already own. Oh and did I mention that the nice lady at the registration desk looked pretty insulted when I told her that I didn't need the magazine? Yes, ma'am, I am trying to be part of the solution. There are trees being cut down to make these bridal magazines, and while they are often helpful to brides like myself, they are in fact made of TREES. And I already have one, OK?!

Ah, the bridal expo. No, not any bridal expo. The local bridal expo...hmm. The bridal gauntlet, if you will. Survive and you get a slice of cake. Mmm cake. The cake was delicious. The rest? I guess the polite thing to say is that it wasn't for me. But there was so much more than that.

My first mistake was that I went alone. The second mistake was that I greatly overestimated the variety of vendors that would make an appearance. Apparently there was only room for one of each vendor. One florist, one limo company (complete with stretch hummer equipped with flashing lights. shudder), one photographer--you get the point. There was absolutely no variety, and from what I saw, the wedding we want, is nothing like the wedding they like to produce. Third mistake: I told them when I was getting married. The minute they heard July 2011 the conversation was over. Over! There was this one lovely woman who actually frowned at me. What's that? Do I have something on my face? Do I smell bad? What it is woman?!

I understand that they are in the wedding business and I am not. But does getting a head start and meeting vendors early make me a waste of time? Oh it does? Well, thanks but I'm gonna take this piece of cake (and the bakery's business card) and head home, thanks. Mmbye.

So I survived the only bridal expo I ever plan on attending, ever. Lesson learned.

Oh and another valuable lesson learned--don't give your real email address. I thought I used my junk mail address (sendspamhere@Idon'tcheckthisaccount.com) on everything, but I must have missed something. I'm still getting emails from vendors I never even saw at the show! Emails like "sorry we didn't have a chance to finish our conversation and talk about pricing, but call us." Rrg.