Somethings Blue

We all know the saying by now..."something old, something new..."  I can't say I've done a good job at collecting any of them yet.  My pre-loved shoes are the "something old."  Everything else I'm wearing is my "something new."  And my something blue could also be my something old but I have a much better idea.   

(source)

I'd like a real life something blue.  

I came across a blog post on A Practical Wedding about bridal party alternatives a long, long time ago.  For reasons that I'm still not too clear on, I bookmarked it and pushed it to the back of my mind.  Fast forward to 9 months ago, when I had to decide on a wedding party.  Without thinking, I drew up the names of ten women.  Ten amazing, fabulous, love-them-for-life friends that I am lucky to have.  But ten, was way too many.  

So I thought about it rationally, and I made a decision.  My friends from college (err, my first college) are some of the best friends I could have ever asked for, but I couldn't ask them to be bridesmaids.  But nearly all of us live really far away from each other-- one lives in Hawaii, the other in Arizona, and the third lives in New York (like I said, nearly all).  I realized that traveling to attend my wedding was going to be challenge enough and I felt that asking them to be in the bridal party felt a little selfish for me.  Then I remembered the blog post and this amazing bride:

(source)

She found herself blessed with too many bridesmaids, so she kept it simple:  her sisters were her bridesmaids and her 13 (yowza!) friends were her "somethings blue."  


So I called up my friends and asked them if they wouldn't mind wearing a blue dress to the wedding.  I didn't want them to go out of their way or anything, but if they found a blue dress (or even accessory) in the process of choosing an outfit then great!  But what else?  Well, I'm not sure.  I've asked them to come get ready in the bridal suite with me, and we're going to take some pics with the photographer.  


They understood the reasoning behind my decision and are really excited about it.  I'm thrilled that I get to spend time as a group again--it's been nearly ten years since we've all been in the same place together!  


So now, my bridal posse is finally complete!  7 bridesmaids, 4 somethings blue, and one bride all ready to rock.  




Have you turned to any alternatives for your bridal party?   

All Aglow: Made with Love [DIY]

This post is pretty much top-secret. So I'll give you a hint and meet you after the jump.

BRIDESMAIDS:  IT'S TIME TO SKEEDADDLE!
STOP READING!  

-  XO

J Cray Cray: Final Thoughts

You can read part one here.

All my bridesmaids have purchased their dresses!

Lil $is, Big Sis, and Cuz will be wearing the Erica dress, in warm pebble.  

BMs Yazzi Fresh, KuBee, Lisee-Pie, and Step-on-Me will be wearing the following in Spiced Wine:

Aveline, Blakely, Sydney, and Arabelle (pictured from left to right).

So, if I step back and put them all together I have a bridal posse that will look something like this:  

I love it!

But I didn't always love it, so here goes.  

I wrote this post a couple times, and I couldn't get it right.  Thinking that the visual aid would help me write this out, I waited until all my ladies purchased their dresses.  And it's still hard to put myself back in the moment when I felt so upset over the bridesmaids dresses.  

And I can't say that bridesmaids dresses don't matter to me anymore.  Of course they do.  I've asked the women I love most in the world to buy a pretty dress and stand up with me when I get married.  That purchase matters!  But, I've come to realize perfection doesn't.  At least not in the way I thought of it before.  Perfection to me was in the beautiful images that I've seen across the blogosphere.  The perfection I get to have, is that they are all going to be there in the way that makes them happy.  And that is what I wanted to begin with!  I wanted that more than I wanted the perfect picture of mismatched, smiling bridesmaids.  

(I'm sure you ladies are lovely, but my posse is better.)

I wanted everyone to be happy.  And so, I have to say that I regret ever getting upset that three of my bridesmaids got the same dress, no matter what their reasons were.  And that's a tough thing for me to admit.  Regret is something I try my best to avoid at all costs!  But, I had my bridal blinders on and I didn't see what I should have:  everyone is happy with what they got and what they got makes them feel beautiful!  

And you know what?  THAT is perfect to me.  As long as I have my ladies by my side, as they are, the perfect picture is inevitable.

Have you had moments where your "bridal blinders" got you in trouble?  Did you have to change your perspective at any point in your planning process?  

J. Cray Cray

I started having doubts about my choice of bridesmaids dresses right after I decided that they should all choose their own.  A couple of my bridesmaids told me that they felt that choosing their own dress in a specific color would be too hard.  And most of them told me that they were going to purchase their dresses at J.Crew, since that's where I saw the colors in the first place. 

Four of the bridesmaids will be in "Spiced Wine."

(Spiced Wine)

And the other three bridesmaids (my sisters and Cuz) will be in their choice of "Pale Lilac" or "Warm Pebble."

(Pale Lilac)

(Warm Pebble)

So after giving it some thought, I wrote them all a final email about their dresses.  Yes, they could still choose whatever dress they wanted as long as it was in the color I asked them to wear.  But, I asked that they please purchase the dress from J.Crew. Feeling strangely triumphant, I patted myself on the back.  This was a happy medium, a win-win situation!  They get to wear whatever they want, paying whatever they could afford, they'll all look different, and we're all happy!

(everyone's happy!)

The happiness continued the next day when I learned that all three of my "pink ladies" bought their dresses together!  

(still happy!)

My excitement stretched into last night, when I asked my older sister to tell me which dress she chose, so I could get a better idea of how everything would look.  But my excitement became confusion when she hesitated to answer.  So I pressed on, and asked her again "which dress did you pick?"  And her response was "the dress you told us to get."  Red flags started going up, half raised, but up nonetheless.  Confused, I asked "what is the name of the dress you bought?"  She said she didn't know, but it was strapless and "the one I [Mich] want."  After some more prodding, I came to find out that she bought this dress:

(Erica Dress)

Oh nice! And Lil $is?  What about her?

(Erica Dress)

Mmmk...and Cuz?  I know she wanted chiffon dress but which one did she buy?

(Erica Dress)

Oh.  So much for everyone wearing a different dress.

I guess the disappointment was obvious, because my sister followed up with "they were $60! And I already bought them, and they can't be returned."

This is still a little fresh, so forgive me if I start to sound like a brat but yeah, I'm a little upset about this.  I asked them to get different dresses and they didn't.  And as a bargain hunter  myself, I can appreciate that they scored these dresses for a MAJOR deal--but was that a good enough reason to not do what I asked?  If they purchased the dresses on their own and by coincidence, they all bought the same dress this wouldn't bother me at all.  I would laugh about it!  But the reason they bought the same dresses was because it was the cheapest one and that really bothers me.  There were dresses in that color for $80 and for $100 as well.  And I could have helped pay the difference, but I wasn't given the chance.   

Is this going to ruin the wedding?  Of course not. They will look beautiful and they will be comfortable, which is what I wanted. I just feel a little hurt right now.  

AAAND...crazy bride moment over.  I'm kissing it to the wind.  

How about you?  Did you have any surprising bridesmaid dress drama?

Too Many Choices?

As an avid internet shopper, I never have a problem finding options.  Finding exactly what I need, of course, is a different subject.  But options?  If you can Google it, you can probably find it.  Gold snake print pumps?

(Like I said, "options")

Bridal caftan?  

(I didn't say the options were pretty)

Oh yeah.  

So when I emailed my sisters about their bridesmaids dresses, the last thing I was expecting was to hear that there are too many choices.  Huh!?

Let me backtrack and show you the email I sent them:

Hey guys!

I know we're right in the middle of the holiday season, but after the holidays there will be 7 months to go.  So I guess I better officially tell you what I've decided on dresses.  For you three I've decided to go with a warm pink.  Something really light, and warm.  I'll send you guys some paint chips I found that I liked.  But I'm not too attached to the shade, as long as it looks nice on you.   And I'm ok with a pattern of some sort as long as it's subtle and not too cray.  

The only thing I ask is that you keep me in the loop and don't buy anything that looks like it came from Wet Seal or the Flirt Catalog [ED NOTE: click if you dare].  Nothing tight and satin.  Short is fine as long as it's pretty and appropriate for a Summer wedding.  

Here are some dresses I like to give you an idea of what I'm looking for:

Nanine Dress in Violet Dust and Serena Dress in Warm Pebble - JCrew

Frosted Rose One Shoulder Dress - Ruche

Long Term Elation Dress - Modcloth

One shoulder dresses are everywhere!!!  Dayum. 

I'm hoping that with 7 months you will all be able to find something you like and that works within your budget.  Which is the last reason I sent this email out today--after holiday sales!

To recap, I said:

- Nude/warm pink, in a shade that works for them.  

- Short, but wedding appropriate

- I get veto power and final approval (Call me the B-word, go for it.  B as in bridezilla, by the way.)

And so back to what I was saying before this email, two of the bridesmaids mentioned that finding a dress by themselves would be too much work.  And they suggested we just go with the J.Crew dresses.  At this point, I'm not opposed to it, since I really want this to be easy for everyone involved, but I don't know...

So I turn to you, is what I am asking of them "too much work?"  

Ciao Bella!

A couple weeks ago, I got really really nervous about the progress of my to-do list.  I felt like I was really far behind in the planning process, so I grabbed my friend Moro and headed to our local Bella Bridesmaid to figure out what my ladies would wear.

My main objective was to decide on the Two Birds convertible dresses that I'd been obsessing over, but I got sidetracked by a couple other lovlies.  

Like "Wisteria" by Simple Silhouettes, modeled by the lovely Moro.

 

Check you out, girl!  Day-um.  

She likes it!  Full disclosure:  I was tempted to buy one of these for myself to have on hand.

I tried on "Rocket" by Simple Silhouettes, and by 'try on' I mean I hammed it up for the camera.  Since I'll be posting more pictures of myself from here on out, I should mention that I cannot take myself seriously when posing for pictures.    

I actually liked this dress, even though I had to hold it up. Room for lots of food?  Sounds like a winner to me!

I liked the color in the store, it's called "Grape," and I thought it was close to the raspberry/rose color I've been looking for--but thank goodness for snapshots!  It's a great color, but it's not quite what I was looking for.



Then I tried on the MS410 by Melissa Sweet.  I couldn't resist the jersey fabric, so soft and comfy!  But, can you see my face on the left?

I'm grabbing the hip swags on this dress.  What is it with hip swags?  I'm drawn to them (haha, I just thought of "like a moth to a flame, burned by the fire...").  

I decided that the only way to make this dress work was to pull out all the stops: pop one hip out, put BOTH arms on my hips and hold my breath.  And then I crossed it off the list when I realized that no one would actually be comfortable in this swishy-soft gown.  Not to mention it only comes in three dark colors.  

No bother--we left the Two Birds dresses for last.  And:

See that hip-pop?  She liked it!

I tried the shorter version on, and I was a little unsure about it. 

So we reworked the top. Is it scary that I knew how to do it? Clearly, I'd spent way too much time on their site.

Then we tried another style on Miss Moro.

I'm a big fan of cap sleeves--and clearly she is too.   

All in all, this was a great trip!  What did I learn?  That I absolutely love the Two Birds dresses, and full length convertible gowns in general.  Not to mention that I would LOVE to have them for my ladies in a shade of deep raspberry.    Did I mention that Two Birds can actually customize the color of your dresses?  Because they can. Which is great because they don't actually make a standard raspberry color, and neither did any other convertible dress companies.

My only hang up is the price!  I hate to dwell on money, but times are tough and I don't want any of my bridesmaids worrying about the cost of this dress.  On the other hand, I hear that nagging voice that says "you've paid the same amount of money for other bridesmaids dresses, it's your wedding. Go for it!"  And that's true, between accessories and alterations on other dresses I've certainly paid more. 

So I'm putting this idea on hold for a bit.  I'm either going this route or the ladies are free to choose on their own. 

What about you?  How did you choose your bridesmaids' dresses?  What factors did you consider?

One more thing, now that my wedding is over, I've found the BM dress that could have been by Henkaa!  They have a slightly different selection of colors, for any brides that's looking for convertible dress options.  

It's um...

I've become smitten with a color that I can't describe.  Magenta?  No!  Claret? Nope.  Purple-ish red-ish pink?  Hmm...close.

Amaranthus? 

Image via Grey Likes Weddings / Photo by Jen Huang / Styling by Summer Watkins

Raspberry?

Image via Etsy / Photo by LuneLuxe

Maybe it's "deep rose." 

Image via Modcloth

That's my new favorite shirt.  And I happen to be wearing it right now.  I love this color more than I could have imagined.  It sits comfortably on the border between red and purple.  And it's perfect!


But why am I obsessing over what to call it?  Well, this is the color I want my bridesmaids to wear. And I have to ask them to find a dress in this color.  How do I describe it to them?  Of course I couldn't be easy and say "candy apple red," or "dandelion yellow" or even "navy blue."  I have to fall for a color that doesn't really have a standard name.  Is it even fair to ask them to find a dress in this color on their own?


What do you think?  Any ideas on how I can get the word out to my girls?  And what would you call this color?

Inspiration - Bridesmaids (and Everything Else)

I came across this gorgeous wedding shot by one of my favorite wedding photographers, Steve DePino, just as I was starting to stress over my bridesmaids dresses.  

(source)

Originally, I wanted to ask the ladies to wear a cocktail dress of their choosing.  But I decided that mismatched cocktail length dresses were too informal for our wedding, as it is quickly becoming much more formal than I could have ever imagined.  But that picture right there, proves that there is in fact a happy medium here.  

I don't think that any of these outfits are too casual.  And look at the bride, she's certainly not casually dressed.  Maybe, I dismissed my gut feeling too quickly this time.  I'm going to have to think about this before I make a decision.  So I'm holding off on this until the new year.  You never know, maybe there will be some new colors and styles that will suit my taste. Or maybe I'll be able to make a decision!

But back to this wedding.  I am floored by the amazing photos and the sophisticated style of the affair.  Check it out!

Gorgeous ensemble, I love how chic the black looks here.  

Sleek black suits and a mixture of bow ties and modern neckties. (Let it go Mich, let it go...)

Upon closer look of these ties, we see that they are so freakin' cool. 

Ok, I'm letting it go now.  No black suits and ties.  Military blues, I got it.  

Oh my goodness--simple, chic, elegant.  Do you see why I love banquet tables now?

Here's a closer look at the details, 

Yes, I love these little understated design elements; striped straws, calligraphy,   And I really want to learn calligraphy, but I won't because I know I will just get frustrated.  

I am tucking this away into my inspiration folder, hoping it will keep me from going over the top with the design.  

Did anyone have such a tough time deciding on bridesmaids dresses?

For the 'Maids...

I can't tell you how bad I am at making decisions for myself.  I stink at it.  I like to look at everything from all angles, until I confuse myself and start all over again.  So imagine my struggle with selecting what my friends will wear.  No, it shouldn't be hard, but it is.  


My first thought was, "why not just pick a color and let them buy a dress they like?"  (Side note: I've seen this picture all over the internet, and I still haven't grown tired of it.)

Image via Bespoke Press / Event Styling by Angels Dreaming / Photo by Sugar Love Weddings

It was a good thought, but it was shot down pretty quickly when a.) I couldn't decide on a standard color, like "blue" or "red" or "black" and b.) when some of my bridesmaids felt that they actually wanted a little more guidance.  


Oh well.  


So I started looking for more traditional bridesmaids dresses.  And there were a couple I liked. 

Image via JLMCouture

This is the JH5080 by Jim Hjelm Occasions.  I immediately loved this, but there's something that still bothers me about it.  The luminescent chiffon is maybe just too...luminescent?


This stunning dress has pockets!  And still, it wasn't right:

(source)

I guess my problem is: I just don't want everyone in the same dress.  That's my group of seven friends, with seven different personalities, and seven different bodies.  So why would I want them in the same dress?  

And then I found it, the dress that is pretty much the object of my affection (for the moment).

Image via JLDesigns /Event styling by JLDesigns / Photo by Jasmine Star

Image via TwoBirdsBridesmaid

The convertible bridesmaid dress!  I want it.  No really, I want one for myself. But I also want these for my bridal posse.  I've been drooling over these gowns by TwoBirds Bridesmaids, and Butter by Nadia.  Even Dessy and Victoria's Secret has a version! 

Now the downside:

• I don't know how or if they will work on everyone's body.
• I'm really particular about color, and I haven't found one that I like in this particular style. 
• Price.  So far, I've found this dress to range from $250-$300.  Not good. 

So, either I get over my hang ups with everyone in the same dress or I find a way to get this dress on the cheap.  Any ideas?  

Did your bridesmaids wear the same dresses?  Or did they choose their own?

Thank You for Being a Friend...

When I think of my bridesmaids, the theme song to "The Golden Girls" pops into my head.   So here goes...

Clip via YouTube

Sigh.  I love that show.  

Deciding on who would make up my bridal posse wasn't as easy as I first thought.  To be honest, there was a list of 10 (TEN!!) women that I love dearly, who I could have asked stand up there beside me.  What can I say?  I'm a lucky girl.  But, I decided to save something special for three of the girls because they live insanely far away.  I want my wedding to be a time of celebration and not a time of stress for my friends.  


Then, I struggled with when and how to ask them.  So I put it off.  With BM Cuz's wedding still in the works, I didn't want to jump the gun.  Until we got to seven months before the wedding, when I freaked out and realized that it wasn't fair to my girls to wait any longer.  I had to ask them righ away!  But that meant no time for cute DIY cards, or a pic of the Golden Girls with our faces superimposed...


Asking them was a little awkward for me, and I didn't want them to feel pressured to say yes if they couldn't do it.  The whole thing reminded me of the good old days of dating when you would get a note that said something like this:

Image via Commadotcomma 

So I thought I would write them a note like that and fold it up, old school style!  But that was shot down by my friend and co-conspirator, L-Cray.  Desperate, I scanned my brain for a quick way to ask them.  
  
And then, lightning struck: e cards! 

Card Created via Someecards

TA-DAA!  My quick and dirty way to form your bridal party. And who could say no to that?! I made it myself! No cutting and pasting necessary.  And hey, at least it got a laugh.





How did you ask your friends to be your bridesmaids?  Was it tough to choose who would make up your bridal party?

Bridesmaids Dresses Are In!

Our dresses are in!  Cuz was a little anxious to see what they looked like when they arrived.  We'd only seen them in plum, and although we loved the color, it wasn't right for her wedding.  So she went with her gut and ordered our dresses in wine.  

Here is the dress in plum:

Bill Levkoff #521

Side note:  this is a picture of #521 from Bill Levkoff's website.  Do you get the feeling that this is some kind of joke in the bridal industry?  When selecting which images to use on the website, do they purposely pick the one that looks absolutely nothing like the actual dress?  Just wondering, because we'd seen this dress online and it was never a possibility until we saw it in the store.  Hint hint, WIC.

(Source)

 Okay, well maybe the dress isn't all that different on the site.  I guess there's something about tying the sash in the front versus tying in the back--makes a big difference.  Plus, we couldn't see the detail of the pleated bodice on the site.  

I digress, here is the dress in wine.  It fits pretty well, but it will need a couple alterations.  It's still comfortable, gorgeous, and after the seamstress has her way with it, it will easily pass the Running Man test.  Oh you haven't heard about the Running Man test?  It goes a little like this: put on a bridesmaid dress, zip up, and bust a move (drop it like it's hot, shake a tailfeather--there are many scientific variations).  If the dress is still in place and in once piece, you've found yourself a contender!  And an example of the highest caliber party dress. 

Here it is:

  And again:

What's that?  Why are my arms outstretched?  Um, I don't know.  Think it was for balance, since I was standing up on my toes.  Ever since I could walk, I would parade around on my tip toes when I played dress up, twenty some odd years later, the habit is here to stay. My expression is still that of an exicted toddler, the hearts are up there to save me the embarrassment.  Sorry folks!




Now I need to drop this hot number off for a little nip tuck!  Easy peasy.