Work with Me Here, Please...

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Dear Prospective Wedding Vendor, 


When I wrote you a few weeks ago, I was being sincere.
Has my email gone unread?  Was it something I said?  
Yes you're amazing and I'm sure your inbox is swamped.


Now, all I ask it that you please tell me you are unavailable.
Or an automated response that says "I got your email, thanks!"


Really, I liked your work a whole lot!  I LOVED your work. 
Egads, is that not good enough?! Ok, I SWOONED over your portfolio.
Please, just drop me a line.  Two words--tops.
Like "dream on," or "I'm booked."  See?  Easy-peasy.
Your silence makes me a bit sad, mmk?  No one likes to be ignored. 


<3,
Mich




Have you been surprised by vendors that never responded to you?

Just Call Me Ms. Clause

Planning a wedding around a deployment is a very tricky and potentially a very costly endeavor.  For most of our engagement, our wedding plans have been up in the air.  We set our wedding date a year ago.  Since then, his plans have changed more than a couple times.    

So what's a slightly Type A bride to do outside of purchasing pricey wedding insurance?  Is it even possible plan a wedding without losing your mind and a few deposits? 

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It is!  Here are some tips I've picked up along the way.  

1.  Be honest about your situation, and ask for exactly what you want.  

In our case that meant "he's serving abroad, but he should be back in time for our wedding."  And when I heard crickets, which I often did, I would continue with "I know it's sounds a little scary to plan an entire wedding with that much uncertainty, but we really feel like our date is going to work."  


And then the question  "if we decided to work with you, would you be able to allow us to use our deposit on another date?"

2.  Be flexible (and respectful).  

I appreciate each and every vendor that was receptive and sympathetic to our situation.  But that doesn't mean I expected them to put everything on hold for us.  All I really wanted was to be able to use our deposit for another day, if we had no other choice.  And if we had to find another day, it would have to work for everyone involved, which wouldn't be easy since we are working with some amazingly talented (read: in demand) people.  

At first I was a little embarrassed to even ask, but after a couple conversations I came to realize that I didn't want to work with anyone that made me feel bad for asking.  I can acknowledge and respect that everyone has a business to run.  I can understand that it might sound cuckoo to look for another date in the middle of peak wedding season.  But the vendors that seemed offended or taken aback by my request weren't going to be the right fit for us, no hard feelings.   

3.  Get it in writing!

All it took were a few extra words in the contract to put me at ease.  Signed, sealed, and delivered--we're prepared for a change of plans!

4. Take a deep breath. 

Do whatever you have to do to relax and get your mind off the uncertainty.  You've done all you could to anticipate a change. Just because our vendors have agreed to be flexible doesn't mean that I'm going to eagerly change our date if his plans change.  I've had my fingers crossed for months!  And now that we're almost in the homestretch it looks like we're locked in on our original date!

If there's one thing I've learned about his schedule, it's to expect change and accept that it's completely out of my control.  We're getting married!  And we're going to BE married no matter how many bumps we hit in the road.  

Are you planning around any uncertainty?  Do you have any other tips to share?

It's Not You, It's Me

Image via Newyorkista.com / Cartoon by Carolita Johnson

So how do you tell a vendor that you've decided to go with someone else?  The obvious answer is to be honest and polite.  But like it or not, honesty isn't always polite.  Especially when you're on the receiving end. I am just starting to reach out to vendors and I will have to approach this carefully time and time again, won't I?
Usually a polite, "thank you for your time, we've decided to go with someone else," should suffice.  Unless a rejected vendor asks for a reason why you rejected them. 


It happened to me the other day, and I have yet to respond.  It's a fair question.   The email deserves my time and attention, and I need to approach my answer tactfully.  I understand why someone would want a reason why they were rejected but how do I word it?  What I want to say is "I really liked your work, that's why I reached out to you.  But I had a feeling about the vendor I chose.  So I went with my gut."  But, if she's looking for critique, that won't be helpful now, will it?   Huh? Some girl got some heartburn or somethin' and that's why she didn't choose me?  


But I guess that's what it's going to have to come down to.  If talent, creativity, and price are all similar.  What else would I have to go with?  I went with the one who I had a good feeling about--is that wrong?




Was it hard to turn vendors down?  Were you ever asked to explain why you chose one vendor over the other?