You Can't Always Get What You Want

Finally, our Venue!

(A little music to set the tone. Via YouTube)

I've put this off for way too long.  As mentioned before, it was a tough choice to leave our dream venue.  So tough, that as much as I love our current venue, there's a little part of me that still wishes we could have stayed with the original site.  

But there's no sense in regret, especially not when this place is so perfect for us!

I wasn't sold on having a wedding in New York state, but as time went on, I began to see that it didn't matter what I wanted, our local options were very limited.  Looking back on it, I wish I could have told myself to chill out because the Hudson Valley is not that far and our venue is awesome!

So let me introduce you to the Highlands Country Club, it's small private club located near the Hudson River.

  

This is area where we will have our cocktail hour, there is furniture that will placed there (they were cleaning up from the night before, so things are moved around a bit).  And see that fire pit on the right hand side?  There's three of them, and they will be lit towards the end of the night.  

(Mama and Thia Marmalada making a surprise appearance!)

This is the main reception space.  The furniture you see there will be outside for the cocktail hour. I love this room.  It's elegant, but it doesn't have the feel of an overly-gilded "wedding factory" I was trying to avoid.  And see the stacks of chairs in the back?  Did you notice that they are Chiavari chairs?  Because I did!  The white Chiavari chairs belong to them and are part of the standard set up!  Woohoo!  Nothing extra to rent!

Here's a another look:

The tables are oblong and I love that too!  This may be completely and totally neurotic to admit, but I was having trouble designing the table decor on round tables.   It's probably because so many of my inspiration pictures contain long banquet tables.  OR, it could be because I was over-thinking things again.

There are two fireplaces, located on opposing sides of the room.  Here's a closer look.  It's a perfect spot for some vellum wrapped luminaries!

And that's pretty much all there is to our reception space!
 
Seriously.  It's a small venue, and that's part of it's charm in my opinion.  But there are a couple other pics I should share.  Starting with a very important area:

This is the restaurant that is connected to the club, also known as Tavern.  For our wedding, the restaurant will become our bar (get it? important area?).  I love the rustic and eclectic feel of the space!

Here is the solarium.  It's where I plan to put our DIY photobooth.  It's also where cocktails will be held in case of bad weather (I'm so superstitious I had trouble typing that out, fingers crossed!).  

Last but not least:

This is part of the bridal suite.  Just wanted to share, because I love the charm of it.  We're not getting ready there. 

That's it!  Small.  Elegant.  And completely not what I thought we would end up with.  Let's see how it stands up to my venue checklist:

1. Close to Home - Not really.  It's about an hour away.  But an hour is an hour and half closer than the original venue.  So check!

2. Easily Accessible to Travelers - Yeap!  You can fly into any one of the NYC area airports.  And for my friends living in NYC, you can easily hop on a train from Grand Central and be at the local train station in no time (and the stop is a minute down the road from the venue).  

3. Cost - YES!!!!  We're saving so much money that we'll be able to invite 20 more people and stay within our budget!  I can't tell you how happy that makes me. 

4.  Flexibility/Simplicity - Yes.  I don't have to worry about coordinating so many vendors here.  And we would be able to move our date if Bear's schedule changes.   

So lesson learned.  My aversion to any place that had the words "country club" (or "banquet hall," "wedding wonderland" etc.)proved to be silly.  My need to be different proved to (once again) be a pain in the butt. I mean seriously.  This place is what I needed, even if it's not what I originally had in mind.  But in life, and especially in weddings, you have to roll with the punches and relax a little. 

Just like those Rolling Stones said, "you can't always get what you want.  But if you try sometimes well you just might find, you get what you need!"

(Who knew the Stones were wedding experts too?)

Were you surprised, like me, with the venue you ultimately ended up with?

Narrowing Down Our Choices

After I crossed the Lounsbury House off our list, there were a few more options.


The last local option was the Stamford Yacht Club.

(source)

I liked it.  But I didn't love it.  But to make things easy, I'm taking the checklist route.  Here's the breakdown:

1. Close to Home - Yes!  A relatively quick drive, as a matter of fact. 

2. Easily Accessible to travelers - Yes again! Planes, trains, and automobiles.  We got 'em all.

3.  Cost! - NO.  No, no, AND, NO.  This place was even more expensive than our original dream venue.  So I'll say no one more time(no).

4. Flexibility/Simplicity - Not really.  This is a working club, with members.  It's not really a wedding venue.  So we'd have to be sponsored by a member.  And our date would have to get the okay.  And that means that moving the date would require an okay in the event that Bear's schedule changes.  

So more expensive and not that flexible made it a no.  Honestly, other than the fact that is close to home and on the water, this place didn't really fit us.  Bear grew up sailing, so that's a definite tie to him.  But I didn't.  And the decor was pretty masculine; dark wood everywhere, nautical touches abounded, just like an "old boys club."  Now, growing up on the coast, I have a love for the water and for most things nautical.  But design-wise, it's not me.  Luckily, I didn't have to go that far in my train of thought.  Because it was a no. 

Next up: New York!

We dismissed the idea of a West Point wedding early on.  I wasn't really into it and neither was he.  But I needed options, so I checked it out and I came up with two.  Here is the first one: 

Bear Mountain Inn--

(source)

This place looked amazing in pictures, but there were a lot of conflicting reviews on the it.  Again, I'm going down the checklist to make things easier. 

1.  Close to home - No.  But it's very close to West Point.  And that's not too far from home.  

2. Easily Accessible to Travelers - Not really.  But it's not impossible.

3.  Cost - Yes, big cost savings.  This was way cheaper than our original venue.  

4. Flexibility/Simplicity - Mostly no.  Yes, this is a one stop shop kind of place.  We could have people stay here all weekend, get married on the grounds, and have them take care of everything.  But not really.  The hotel has been undergoing renovations that are not yet complete, and that made me nervous because we couldn't really be sure about everything.  

Ultimately this place was a no.  Not only for the reasons I listed above, but because it was a little more rustic than I wanted.  I like camping, it's fun!  But not for our wedding.  And the biggest red flag here was that it was hard to find a time to visit.  I don't expect vendors to bend over backwards for me, at all.  But I felt like it was more difficult to visit this venue than any other I'd checked out, my schedule didn't work with theirs.  After about  five tries to set a date, I cancelled.  Something just didn't feel right about it to me. 

Sometimes you have to go with your gut.  I did and I couldn't be happier with the choice we made!  Anyone else out there feel the same?  

Let the Venue Search Begin (Again!)

 (Goodbye SFV!  So pretty.)

After two torturous weekends of indecision, I finally came to terms with changing our wedding plans.  I had to cancel our dream venue, and I as sit here writing this, I can feel the tears forming.  Clearly, I'm still not completely at peace with the change.  But, I am happy again and excited.  And now that I am looking back on this with some perspective, I know I made the right move for us.  

Without further ado...searching for a new venue!

Here are the new criteria for our venue:

1.  Closer to home - There was a lot of talk about how far our wedding was for our guests.  As a matter of fact, there was way too much talk about our wedding being too far from home.  While some of the comments were out of line, they had a point. 

2.  Easily accessible for travelers - This is related to number one.   I want people to be able to arrive at a major airport with more flights available (cheaper tickets!), or take a train, or rent a car--without too much trouble.  

3.  COST - Clearly this list is not in any particular order.  Because if it was, cost would be the first on the list.  Our projected costs were quickly getting out of control at our original, and we were in danger of completely blowing the budget.  No matter how much Mr. M insisted that we could make our budget work, I couldn't wrap my head around the numbers we were coming up with. Maybe you remember my little rant? So, we were looking for a significant savings.  

4.  Flexibility/Simplicity aka "One Stop Shopping" - No matter what, our date is still not certain.  I can repeat the date of our wedding a thousand times, shout it from the rooftops, and tattoo it on my arm, but the date is still (mostly) tentative.  Mr. M has no control over his schedule.   So while we've done our best to plan around what we think his schedule will be, we can't really be completely certain that our date won't be changed.   So I need a place that is flexible enough to allow us to rebook our date.  And most importantly, I need to work with as few vendors as possible.  The thought of coordinating another date with a venue, caterer, florist, photographer, DJs, and on and on, made my hair stand on end.  As much I didn't want a "one stop shop" for our venue, the reality is, that I need that right now.  I need to keep things as simple as possible, for my sanity's sake.  

Side note:  the owners of our original venue were some of the most kind and gracious people I have met in this planning process.  They were flexible and understanding, and would have let us rebook.  But they had no control over other vendors.  I would highly recommend anyone work with them.  

 (I had no reason to post this, other than I took this at our original venue)

Okay, got it this time.  Ready, set, go!

Can't wait to show you what we came up with!

I Would Walk 500 Hundred Miles...

(Source)

Cuz and I grew up together, like two peas in a pod, if by peas you meant to little girls who loved each other to pieces and yet always had a knack of getting at each other's throats, then yes, two peas. There are places in our town that we can walk upon and think of the memories that were made. The beach where we walk on a lazy days was once the spot where we giggled and partied with our friends. The middle school down the street from her home, was once once where Cuz, her brother, and I played soccer as kids--I can remember bundling up in my purple sweatpants and heading over there as a family on Saturday mornings. And of all the places in our town, our church holds years and years worth of memories.

But what am I saying here? Back when Cuz's nuptuals were a hypothetical, she insisted that she would be married somewhere far, far away. Well, flash forward to today--they've decided to get married around here, most likely in the church we grew up in. All she needs now, is to find a reception site both of them will love. They are looking for a few simple things:

- A "one stop shop" (the site will take care of all the details).

- Not too far from our church.

- A reasonable price for amazing food.

- Elegant and beautiful site/decor.

- Room for 200+ people.

- On the water.

Theoretically this shouldn't be too hard, people! But it is! We live in a large town in coastal Connecticut, less than an hour from New York City. You would think that we would be able to find a venue like that under any old rock around here, or at least I would think that... but no. Off hand, I can think of one place that fits the bill but it's where my older sister got married--in other words, it's out. There are two locations around here that provide the "package deal" that she's looking for but they aren't on the water. There is one place with water on their property, but it's more like a man-made lake than Long Island Sound. I also need to mention the fact that we live in one of the more affluent parts of the state. Essentially, we are from a blue collar town surrounded by white collar towns, so know what that means? Vendors are expensive around our neck of the woods because they can be. What to do, what to do?

Go somewhere else! Sure! Why not?? A quick drive to NYC, or Westchester county should be easy, gotta take advantage of being in the Tri-State area! Maybe even upstate or eastern Connecticut? CT's a small state, so why not?

So how far is too far?